Oh My....

Let me start by saying that real life interrupts me all the time! There have been so many times I've sat down to update here and either I'm too tired to write, or something else comes up.

The last few weeks have been interesting. I went to see my folks in Florida in February. Joe came, spent the night and took me to the airport the next afternoon. It was a strange encounter to start. He was in a bad mood, trying to provoke me to get angry with him. He came over in the middle of the night actually. I left the door unlocked for him and he let himself in, and woke me up. I'm not sure why he was in a bad mood, but I refused to engage in the drama and told him I was going back to bed. After a few minutes he joined me. We didn't speak. I lay there with my back to him, both of us naked. At this point, I was wide awake....aware of his warmth behind me, his breath slow and steady. I smiled as I felt him turn toward me and his arm go around me, pulling me closer to his chest, turning my body so we faced each other.

He apologized with his lips, kissing my eyes, my cheek, my nose, my lips. Biting my lower lip as he moved over me, rubbing my body with his strong hands. He was sweet, and soft, and gentle as we made love to reconnect. I fell asleep in his arms. I woke him up a few hours later, sucking him and squeezing his cock. He loves my blowjobs....he loves to force my head down and hear me moan and gag, fucking my mouth. He's getting more vocal when we have sex. He is learning to let go of his own control when I give him pleasure. When we woke up a few more hours later, he told me how much he loved me as he slid into my ass. Starting soft and gentle, then getting bolder and faster. As I lay there, listening to him gasp and moan, calling my name, his fingers inside me at the same time, it was just what I wanted and needed from him. We came together.

Sigh...I love mornings like that.

It was so hard leaving him at the airport. We talked while I was gone for the week, but I missed him desperately.

This past weekend he had drill for the military. He called me Friday at work during the day...asking me when I was getting home. When I asked him why he told me that he had a surprise for me and was on the way to my house. Oh gosh! How to sneak away for the rest of the afternoon! I didn't have to! I asked my boss if I could come in on Saturday for a few hours to make up for leaving early and he's such a gem! He let me. I rushed home to meet Joe and he was sitting in the driveway when I pulled up. Sigh...he is so beautiful to me. He has such full lips, and I could kiss him forever.

Now, here's the Oh My part.....my surprise. Wrist and ankle restraints, and some weird four clip thingy so all the restraints could be hooked together. There was also an o-ring gag, but it was way too big for my mouth! LOL! He was truly disappointed for that because he said it was the only one he could fit his cock into. Sheesh...not my fault I have a small mouth! Ironically, I have no problem fitting his cock in my mouth without it....

So it seems that he wanted a practice session because he knows that I've never been restrained and the idea scares me to death! He showed me how the restraints work, and as he explained it to me, my hands started to shake. It's not that I don't trust him, I do, completely. It's the fear of having absolutely NO control. I have to be in hypercontrol in my job(dangerous and potentially deadly) so living most of my days in total control...I can admit that I have control issues. (*snort*~that's an understatement!)

He was gentle as he slid my socks off to velcro the restraints on my ankles. He rubbed my feet and legs and we talked about insignificant things. He let me stay fully clothed...which I thought was strange, but later understood completely. He hooked my ankles together and then stood me up. We laughed as he pulled me, taking tiny baby steps, toward the bedroom. He stood me next to the bed, looked me in the eye, kissed me ever so gently and asked me if I was ready.

He turned me around, and pushed me(gently) face down on the bed. He took my wrists, put the restraints on me, then proceeded to hook my wrists to my ankles behind my back. He made sure that my knee wasn't bothering me(two past knee surgeries). It was a strange sensation...but not uncomfortable. Joe lay on the bed next to me for a few minutes and the way he looked at me, was so intense. I don't think I've ever seen such desire in his eyes before. He told me I looked beautiful lying there hogtied. I laughed, he told me to just say thank you. So I did. He tickled me, which he knows I hate, but there I was, not able to do anything to stop him. So we laughed. And then he turned me over. He said he couldn't believe how hard my nipples were and that he could see them through my shirt and my bra. He pinched them, and rubbed them. And then....and then he undid my pants and slid his hand inside my panties. The look on his face said everything. He was sooooo in his element. It was like a light was suddenly turned on inside of him. He smiled. He moaned. He told me how wet I was. I think this embarrassed me. I didn't expect that. He did. He said he was listening to my body, not my mouth.

I don't know why I wanted to fight how good it felt, lying there, no control, him touching me, making me feel so good. I felt so exposed. I wanted to look away, not let him see how much I was enjoying what he was doing to me. I hate to say that through all of our trials and tribulations, I don't think I've ever truly given over total control to Joe until that moment. And he did it so gently. And it scared me...not the restraining part, but to let him see me so vulnerable, and open. But I did it! And I survived! And despite myself, I enjoyed it!

And when the phone rang a few minutes later and his commanding officer was saying "you'd better be on the road, soldier!" and it came to an end...I was truly disappointed. I wanted to go further. To see where it would take me. I wasn't ready to take the restraints off...I didn't want to see that look on his face, the light in his eyes, end.

It was hard to let him go, even though I know I can't argue with the U.S. Military!

His truck broke down on the way back today...so it's in the shop. I will see him hopefully on Wednesday after work.

I can't wait.

Oh My.....